


look into my eyes, that’s were my demons are

by no_mourners_no_funerals



Series: let the darkness lead us into the light [1]
Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: AU, Aleksander Morozova - Freeform, Also the powerbond, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, The Darkling - Freeform, a bit - Freeform, about anything, and he didnt lie, anti-mal, cos i like the darkling, i havent read all of the trilogy but i fel the need to write that, i made it up cos i didnt kno, just a bit, mal has the charisma of limp paper towel as smn on tumblr once said, may be a sequel, names are important, power bonding, sorry - Freeform, that they actually have sth like that, the Sun Summoner, the darkling was manipulated by his mother to create the fold, well not exactly cos he isnt mentioned but i dont like him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-07 02:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18863890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/no_mourners_no_funerals/pseuds/no_mourners_no_funerals
Summary: Darklina. Or Alarkling. Whatever it’s called.AU in which the Darkling was forced by his mother to create the Shadow Fold and really wants to destroy it and also didn’t lie about anything. Alina and Aleks power bond. Set after Baghra tells Alina that the Darkling is the Black Heretic in Shadow and Bone.title inspired by “demons” by imagine dragons





	look into my eyes, that’s were my demons are

**Author's Note:**

> I was bored and im finishing Shadow and Bone so I felt the need to write that

She pushed Baghra away and fled.

No.

She refused to believe that.

The Darkling wasn’t the Black Heretic, he couldn’t be.

No one could fake hate like that. And the Darkling truly hated the Black Heretic and she _felt_ that he was saying the truth about destroying the Shadow Fold. Her senses couldn’t fool her that much.

_I’m asking you to trust me._

_You and I are going to change the world._

_You’re the first glimmer of hope I’ve had in a long time._

Alina somehow found herself before her room, but didn’t remember how she got there at all. She frantically opened the door and ran to the bathroom. She leaned over the toilet and threw up.

_No._

_Impossible._

She started to sob.

_I won’t believe that._

She missed the sound of someone knocking to the door. Bile rose up her throat again. She sobbed as spasms wrecked her body. She didn’t hear anything but the blood flowing in her veins and her heart beating with a rythm that was definitely too fast. She didn’t hear someone calling her name, opening the door. Only the hand tracing circles on her back brought her back to reality. The Darkling. He said he’ll come to her room tonight. It made her sob even more, but the bile stayed down. He tensed for a moment, but relaxed soon and resumed trailing circles. She hated herself for showing such weakness before him but she couldn’t help it.

 _Black Heretic_ , a quiet voice said in the back of her head.

 _No,_ Alina pushed it away.

It took several minutes for her to calm down.

“What happened?” asked the Darkling, concern lining his voice.

Alina shook her head and tried to get up. He helped her to the bed. She put her head in her hands. The Darkling sat beside her with his brow furrowed and waited patiently.

“Baghra. She… she told me that…” Her voice cracked.

The Darkling exhaled slowly.

“She told you that I was the Black Heretic, didn’t she?” he asked softly.

Alina nodded.

“Yeah.”

He sighed and stood up. He leaned on the windowsill, his back to her and his head hanging. He was silent for long and Alina started to worry.

“Alina, you know that usually Grisha work in pairs, right?” he asked suddenly, sounding tired.

Alina frowned. How was that related?

“Yes, I know.”

“Do you know what _sila svyazi_ is?”

Alina hesitated. She recalled something like that from her books, but didn’t remember all of it.

“It’s when two Grisha… share some of their power?”

She saw the Darkling nodding.

“Yes. Two Grisha, powerful Grisha, can lend some of their power between them. You can undo it without a problem, but it’s generally done between people that know each other well, because, well, your power is a part of your very essence. I guess you don’t know what are the side effects?”

“No.”

“When sharing their power, Grisha can sense when the other is lying, feel each other’s emotions and, if they’re powerful enough, they can even transfer memories.”

Suddenly, Alina understood.

“You want me to see. You want to show me what Baghra was talking about.”

He turned to her.

“Yes. I need you to be sure that I’m not lying. You can end the connection whenever you like, I can’t stop you.”

Alina thought about it. The thought of sharing her power with someone was terrifying, but… she might not get another opportunity to get her answers.

“Okay.”

The Darkling seemed to exhale a breath long held. He was… relieved?

“Okay, then.”

He pushed away from the windowsill and sat with his legs crossed on the other side of the bed, facing her. She mirrored his position, a bit hesitant about what was about happen. A seed of doubt was planted within her and even though she chased the thoughts away, she couldn’t help but think “ _what would he do that for if he wasn’t the Black Heretic?”_. She shook her head and focused on his dark figure on the other side of the bed. Starlight was shining through the window, surrounding him in silver light. His quartz eyes found her own. She cleared her throat.

“So, how is it done?” she asked quietly.

He ruffled his black hair.

“We need to reach out for another’s power. You felt a part of mine when we first met and then in the throne room. Imagine pushing your own my way and merging them. I will do the same. Your mind might try to fight it at first, but you need to calm down and accept it. We might need a few tries. When we find balance, I will show you my memories. Still want to do it?” he checked.

Alina nodded.

“Yes.”

“Then let’s get started.”

He extended his hands towards her. She did the same. When they met in the middle, Alina felt the same certainty and confidence she felt two times already. But this time, she reached out too. She summoned her power and pushed it towards the man sitting in front of her. In return, he pushed his further. She felt her mind fight against the unknown force, just as the Darkling predicted. She forced herself to relax, to accept it as her own. She felt the Darkling struggle too. It took a few tries, but she made it. Light and darkness were flowing through her together in balance, in and out of her body, joining with the same force in the man before her. She exhaled slowly. It was unlike everything she had ever felt. It was exhilarating and beautiful and a thousand different things at once. She felt calm and serene, her pain and guilt and sadness dulled out by the new power in her veins. The darkness washed over her like a soft blanket on a winter night and her own light burned like a warm fire in a cottage fireplace. She looked at the man before her. The Darkling’s features softened and his expression was relaxed. She had never seen him like this. She suspected that she looked similar, even with red, puffy eyes and disheveled hair. They stayed like that for a couple of moments, before the Darkling looked at her, suddenly focused. She forced herself to focus on him too.

“Ready?” he whispered hoarsely.

Alina nodded, not quite trusting her own voice. He closed his eyes and she followed. Then, she felt herself being sucked into what she suspected was a memory.

A goung Baghra was standing over a young boy.

 _That’s the Darkling,_ thought Alina in shock.

“Embrace the power within you, Aleksander. You are the most powerful Grisha in the world.”

The boy frowned in effort and produced a small dark cloud.

Another memory pushed in its place.

“The Grisha are the most powerful beings on this planet and they slaughter us like pigs!” shouted Baghra, barging through a door.

The black-haired boy was a bit older now. He looked at his mother hesitantly.

“What will you do?” he asked carefully.

Baghra suddenly smiled at him.

“Don’t worry about that, Aleksander. It’s almost time for our lesson! You are going to do great things some day.”

Another memory.

Baghra and a teenage Aleksander were standing on a field. She stood over him with a grim look on her face.

“Try harder, Aleksander. How can you be a good Darkling if you don’t try? Make it bigger, spread it further.”

The teen looked at her, unsure, but complied. A huge wave of darkness shot from his hands and spread over the field. Alina gasped.

Another memory.

The Darkling - _Aleksander,_ Alina reminded herself, _his name is Aleksander -_ was looking like he did now. He got out of his black coach which left in a hurry. He was in the same field as earlier. Baghra was waiting for him.

“Well, well, well. My son got promoted, I see,” she said in a mocking voice. She was still beautiful, but there was a small flash of madness in her eyes.

“What do you want, mother?” Aleksander asked. Alina noticed the apprehension in his voice.

“Oh, isn’t it allowed anymore to drink tea with my firstborn?” Baghra asked innocently.

They went into the house and had tea, just as Baghra wanted. Then she asked:

“Why don’t you show me how much you’ve improved, now that you are the Darkling?” she asked, still with that mocking tone to her voice. Aleksander looked at her sharply.

“Mother-“

He was cut off.

“Oh, just come, you big old lump. Show your _mat_ what you can do.”

They went out on the field.

Alina felt a sudden wave of anger and regret from the Darkling. She looked closer at the scene.

Aleksander formed a wave of darkness. It was way bigger than the one she saw before. Even he looked surprised. He held it for long. Beads of sweat started to shine on his forehead. He looked over to his mother.

And Baghra was… taking over the darkness. Was it possible?

 _A forced sila svyazi?_ Alina thought in horror.

Aleksander was clearly reaching his limits and looked terrified at his mother. She was manipulating the cloud further and further, until no inch of the blue sky could be seen. The Shadow Fold.

“What did you put in the tea?” the Darkling asked through clenched teeth.

Baghra laughed as her own force joined her son’s.

“Just a little mix of _jurda_ leaves and some other drugs.”

“You _drugged_ me?” he asked, furious and terrified.

She didn’t answer.

Aleksander tried to shut his hands, stop the darkness from flowing, but failed. Many times. Until his mother swayed on her feet, clearly starting to get tired. He took advantage and stopped the flow. But the damage was already done.

The Shadow Fold was created.

The memories were retrieved from her mind. Alina looked at the Darkling before her. Waves of anger and hate and regret were spilling out of his mind. But there was will too. Will to undo what he was forced to create, to stop the suffering. He looked her in the eyes.

“I did create the Shadow Fold, but I never wanted to do it. Baghra drugged me so she could create a _sila svyazi_ without my consent. She needed me to do it, because I was more powerful than she could ever be. I spent my whole life and five fake deaths trying to find a way of destroying it. I almost gave up. But you appeared and I finally have hope that we can do it. When _you_ kill the stag and take his antlers, you’ll be the most powerful Grisha in the world. If you’ll want, I will be able to help you through a _sila svyazi,_ but I think that you’d manage to do it on your own. I promise that I don’t want to manipulate you, I’ll never do anything like that to you. I just want to destroy what I had been forced to create,” he said. And she knew he was saying the truth, she felt it. She didn’t even realise she was crying. Again.

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

“Say that you’ll help me. Say that you won’t believe them when they’ll try to get between us.”

Alina looked into his beautiful quartz eyes.

“Of course. I promise I’ll help you destroy the Shadow Fold, I promise I’ll kill the stag and make the amplifier, I promise that I won’t believe them when they’ll try to get between us.” She paused for a few seconds. “I promise that I won’t leave you, Aleksander.”

He let out a choked sound.

“I haven’t heard that name in a long time,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. Alina looked into his beautiful eyes again and leaned in to him.

“Aleksander,” she said and kissed him.

“Aleksander,” she whispered as he kissed her back.

“Aleksander,” she sighed as the flow of both of their powers in her veins sped up.

“Aleksander,” she moaned as he trailed small kisses down her body, unbuttoning her black _kefta._

“Aleksander!” she exclaimed as they joined in one and the darkness and light flooded the room.

“Aleksander,” she whispered, ruffling his hair as they went to sleep.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Feelings?


End file.
